During the last sixteen-years of hosting a variety of haunted houses and yard haunts, I’ve experienced some very quirky/funny encounters with trick-or-treaters and their parents. Overall, the majority of my Halloweens have been uneventful regarding the “candy seekers,” but once in a great while I run into something a little out of the ordinary. Throughout the years, I’ve developed pet names for the people involved in those out of the ordinary encounters. They are as follows: “The Rock Thrower,” “The Grave Robber’s Opponent,” “Sucker Toucher,” “Pillowcase Boxer,” and “Mr. Partial.”
In this entry, I’m giving you guys the lowdown on “The Rock Thrower” and “The Grave Robber’s Opponent.” In Part 2, I’ll be sharing my encounters with “Sucker Toucher,” “Pillowcase Boxer,” and “Mr. Partial.”
1) The Rock Thrower: This little guy couldn’t have been more than seven or eight-years-old, but he had one hell of an arm on him! The Rock Thrower goes back to the days when my “haunt” consisted of me walking through the yard, while wearing a funky mask, and carrying a dull axe over my shoulder (pictured above).
Periodically, during my walk around the perimeter, I’d freeze in the shadows when hearing the approaching trick-or-treaters. After coming within a few feet of me (most thought I was part of the store-bought decor extending off of the porch), I’d lunge at them. The majority would scream and laugh and then head to the door looking for candy; totally forgetting about the axe toting monster in the front yard.
However, this wasn’t the case with The Rock Thrower. Dressed in a ninja costume, he locked eyes with my creepy mask and refused to budge; never saying a word and completely forgetting about his mission to obtain candy. The boy must have stood in place for five minutes, almost getting overtaken several times by other groups of trick-or-treaters making their way past him.
As one batch of little vampires, ghosts and witches melded into another, I eventually lost track of the ninja. Not knowing if he had left on his own accord or was pulled away by the sea of costumed children, I turned my attention to scaring more unsuspecting victims.
After several minutes had passed, I began to feel something pelting my back. Checking to see what was causing the repeated “blows,” lo and behold, there was the ninja standing in the empty lot across the street. Taunting me and spewing a cluster of obscenities, he began throwing any chunks of gravel he could locate with his plastic, jack-o-lantern flashlight.
“Hey a**hole, I’m not afraid of you, you stupid piece of sh*t!” The words effortlessly poured from his mouth like poetry.
After a few growls and mock swings of the axe on my part (still from across the street), and several more attempts at clocking me in the head with stones, followed by cuss words even I wouldn’t say, the ninja eventually stormed off — presumably to teach sailors how to properly swear!
2) The Grave Robber’s Opponent: This next kid was probably around the same age as The Rock Thrower, and was blessed with a similar gift for talking smack, albeit a cleaner version. Instead of cursing the day I was born and trying to stone me to death, he stood next to the yard haunt (with my groundbreaker layout) and spontaneously began flapping his arms to draw attention to himself. During his outburst, he told passersby that the groundbreakers were real dead bodies.
Once he found out I was responsible for the corpses, he started screaming at the top of his lungs, saying I was a “grave robber.” His antics continued throughout the neighborhood and I could still hear him several minutes later as his voice trailed off into the darkness, screeching about how I dug up the dead. “That man dug up dead bodies!” “That man dug up dead bodies!”
Talk about a flair for the dramatic! What I’d like to know is where in the heck are these kids’ parents during trick-or-treat?
Hopefully you got a laugh from hearing about “The Rock Thrower” and “The Grave Robber’s Opponent.” On Wednesday, I’ll be adding another progress update on my Angel of Death Prop for the Halloween 2010 Preview Page. So, Part 2 to this entry should be posted on Thursday.
About the picture in this entry: I want to apologize for the extremely poor quality, but that was the only one I could find from many years ago, back when I used to haunt the yard with my axe. In my right hand, I’m holding the controller for my old school fog machine.