Archive for the 'Humorous Halloween Stuff' Category

Halloween Garbage Pail Kids

July 29th, 2010 by John Wolfe

If you’re old enough to remember the ’80s, chances are you’re at least a little familiar with Garbage Pail Kids. Once the 1984 Cabbage Patch Kid craze was in full swing, it was a prime market for creating a product mocking those hot selling coleslaw-themed baby dolls — enter the Topps company. By ’85, Topps was cranking out their own “cute” little crop of kids who always managed to find themselves in either disturbing or disgusting predicaments. However, where Cabbage Patch was about toys, Garbage Pail was all about trading cards.

Being in fifth grade at the time, I was young, had a sick sense of humor and loved anything off-the-wall. In other words, I was in the demographic Topps was banking on for gobbling up their chewing gum and swapping their gross cards.

Anyway, I thought I’d share a few of the more Halloween-oriented GPK in this entry. Both images are scans from my own small collection (click on pics to get a better view). Even after all these years, I’ve kept the cards in the same 8-track carrying case where they’ve always been stored. If keeping these old cards in a 8-track case doesn’t scream 1980s, nothing will. :)

Out of my entire collection, I’m probably most proud of this Pier Vampier card. While living in Germany, I used to trade classmates all the time for GPK and one day I was lucky enough to come across ole Pier. He’s the very first card from the first series of GPK produced for Holland. In fact, according to Wayne’s Garbage Pail Kids References (link takes you to Wayne’s site), the first series printed in Dutch was sold as a test run. Since the test run wasn’t extended, it’s extremely difficult to find any of the Holland Garbage Pail Kids products. Apparently Pier Vampier, who goes by “Nasty Nick” on the American version, may be a pretty rare card, but I have no idea about its value. Valuable or not, I love these things, because they’re a blast from my past and, of course, because of the Halloween tie-in on the lot I’ve featured here.

You Know You’re Obsessed With Halloween 3

July 26th, 2010 by John Wolfe

In case you missed the first two You Know You’re Obsessed With Halloween posts, the following are some warning signs that you may have it bad for October 31st. As always, only a few of these apply to me – I swear. ;)

You know you’re obsessed with Halloween

…When you take complicated, advanced anatomy courses strictly for the purpose of enhancing your corpse building skills.

When you’re looking forward to old age because genuine wrinkles and missing teeth will make your Halloween costumes look even more authentic.

When the setup of your haunted house is so elaborate, passersby mistakenly assume you’re being tented for pest control purposes.

When you ask the doctor for permission to take your x-ray home because the image makes you giddy with Halloween spirit.

When, despite the fact it’s been missing in action for almost two years, you continue to check your mailbox, hoping and praying the Fright Catalog’s finally arrived.

When you own stock in any of the following: Elmer’s Glue, duct tape, paper towels, Styrofoam, super glue, or super glue remover.

When you believe Spirit Halloween Superstores are a great place to pickup women or men.

When candy corn becomes appetizing.

When pumpkin-shaped Marshmallow Peeps become appetizing.

When your Christmas cards feature zombies.

When your heroes are some talented guys who go by the monikers Pumpkinrot, Stolloween and SpookyBlue.

When, in moments of tenderness with your partner, you feel the urge to inappropriately scream any of these sexually suggestive monster movie titles: It Came From Outer Space, The Giant Behemoth, Attack of the Crab Monsters, Creature From the Black Lagoon, Dr. Cyclops, War of the Gargantuas.

When you’ve finished screaming those sexually suggestive monster movie titles, your partner doesn’t kick your butt to the curb. (That’s when you know you’ve found your soul mate and you’re both officially obsessed with Halloween.)

When Goth friends quit hanging with you ‘cause you’re just too “dark” for their taste, and it’s harshing their melancholic mood.

When you’ve determined exactly what you want for your funeral services based on years of practicing in your haunt.

When you’re on a friendly first name basis with local Halloween store employees, so much so they even remember you the following year.

When, at summer’s end, you were always elated to go back to school, only because it meant Halloween was right around the corner.

When you’ve made your health a priority by deciding it’s finally time to consume three, nutritious square meals per day: Breakfast = Franken Berry, Lunch = Count Chocula, Dinner = Boo Berry.

When you get mega pissed at Sirius-XM radio for only airing their Halloween channel seven days instead of running it the entire month of October.

When, shortly after Halloween, you aimlessly wander through Spencer’s Gifts in a dejected state, gently touching shelves and reminiscing about the good ole days when masks and costumes were still on display.

When you’ve planted a Halloween garden; in the process, learning A LOT MORE than you bargained for about the love life of gourds, and the bugs who sex one another up while inhabiting the pumpkin patch.

When you actually find yourself wanting to read another installment of “You Know You’re Obsessed With Halloween,” created by my twisted mind.

Hope you enjoyed my list, and remember, if more than three of these apply (or if only one applies, but that one happens to be ‘screaming sexually suggestive monster movie titles’), you may need to see a qualified haunt specialist right away to discuss your Halloween obsession; or you could just stay right here at Season of Shadows and we’ll work it out together.

Also, one more thing before I run: I had a little fun with Fright Catalog in this installment, but the good news is I heard their publication has been resurrected and will once again be lurking in your mailbox this fall. Just follow the above link to Fright Catalog’s site for details on receiving catalog notifications.

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You Know You’re Obsessed With Halloween
You Know You’re Obsessed With Halloween 2