More Favorite Halloween Experiences
February 8th, 2010 by John Wolfe
After sharing some of my more quirky Halloween experiences, it got me in the mood to relive a few of my other favorite untold haunt endeavors. Coming off our mid to late ‘90s hallway haunt and prior to starting the 2006 haunted cemetery display, my home haunt motto was, “Anything goes — the kookier and stranger the better.” Case in point: one year, I stood next to the house (in a decrepit looking old man costume), beating my fists against the wall and squawking gibberish about so-called prophetic, apocalyptic visions.
“It’s been one-hundred years since the signs foretold this night’s approach,” I’d yell, “Inky darkness is oozing across the land and all is lost. It’s the end of the world, I tell you. Hell’s coming to swallow us up.”
Of course, since I was ranting and raving about hell, I received the usual smart aleck, “Then shut up and go to hell, old man,” responses from a few of the trick-or-treaters. (If you’ve read my other entries pertaining to some of the kids attending our haunt, this should come as no surprise.)
I’d quickly snap back with, “Oh I will, but you don’t understand the prophecy. You see, hell’s where you’re going, too! You’re all going!” Then I’d tilt my head backwards and bust loose with some crazy laughter. The laughter alone stopped many of the trick-or-treaters in their tracks!
Another Halloween, while wearing one of my funky, obscure masks, I ran through the yard with a slouched Quasimodo-like posture, acting completely possessed and feverishly pounding two big sticks together over my head.
Don’t ask me what I was supposed to be. I couldn’t tell you. I just knew it looked totally bizarre, so I went for it and sold it in a big way. Not to toot my own horn, but if there had ever been movie auditions for a “leading man type” who was a funny looking, slumped over fiend, beating on two tree branches like an idiot, I could have been a huge star. 
During another Halloween, I purchased an oversized, inflatable head piece, filled it with air, strapped it around my neck and shoulders, and placed a mask at the top. The entire costume was covered in a long shroud that hung over my feet. I’m about 6’ 2” but this rig gave the appearance I was over 8 feet tall (pictured at the top, I’m on the right). I had to duck to get under doorways while wearing it.
Visually, the costume was fine, but it didn’t function very well. Maneuvering through a dark yard while wearing a mask perched twenty-five inches above my head, and a shroud that could fit the Jolly Green Giant proved to be quite comical. More than once I “biffed it” going after trick-or-treaters.
By Halloween 2005, I decided to get the heck out of the yard and away from oversized costumes. So, I retreated to the highest point available where I could still provide a few scares: the rooftop. The house is covered with a tin roofing material and has quite an arch to it, but I enthusiastically thought that wouldn’t be a problem. After all, the location could make for something unique and unexpected since the kids already anticipated me being on the ground.
Outfitted with a brand new zombie mask and zombie gloves, I crawled up the ladder (in the backyard), climbed onto a flat portion of the roof, and then scaled my way up to the arched peak. After reaching the top, I carefully slid down the front side and into position just above the front porch. Sounds like a piece of cake so far, huh?
Earlier in the day, I had prepped the location by strapping my trusty strobe light to the top of the garage, which sat adjacent to my sweet scare-spot. The strobe was aimed at me and dialed in at its fastest setting, in the hopes it would enhance the illusion of me coming off the roof. To further disorient the trick-or-treaters, I also had my fog machine “polluting” the entire front walkway and porch.
For the first hour or so, my plan was working well. The fog and strobe light provided the perfect atmosphere for me to hide just behind the edge of the gutter. Some saw me, but they assumed I was simply decoration. In my usual startle-scare fashion, I let the first two or three in each group walk under me without making a sound, then I’d kick and scream and act as if I was coming over the edge to get the trailing members of the group.
However, there was a problem with this plan: I was lying on my stomach and my body was going downhill. After a while, the blood began rushing to my head and once again, the strobe effect had me extremely disoriented. Add in the fact it was getting cold, causing moisture to condense on the tin roof, and I was completely screwed!
In case you haven’t noticed by now, I take my duties on Halloween night very seriously. I never break character, even when I’m having rocks thrown at me, getting punched in the face or choking on a Snickers bar!
The same was true on that rooftop back in Halloween ’05. Not once did I take off those zombie gloves, my jacket, or that new mask. Diligently, I watched and waited, never wanting to miss an opportunity to scare the next batch of candy seekers. Due to my diligence, I failed to get the memo informing me the rooftop was turning into a skating rink!
At one point, I really went for it, throwing my body weight into the movements, thrashing about and acting like I was going to jump into the crowd of trick-or-treaters. The kids screamed and ran, unfortunately, I overestimated my ability to maintain my position.
Thanks to slick tin, I slid sideways. Coming halfway off the roof, my hands clung to the gutter system (picture Chevy Chase in “Christmas Vacation”), and my left foot desperately tried to find traction while my right leg simultaneously dangled free and clear over the edge.
Closing my eyes and awaiting impact with the sidewalk below, I realized my left hiking boot had hooked onto an overlapping groove in the tin. Amazingly, the gutter had also held up, despite applying some weight to its structure. Thankfully, I didn’t fall off, and the even bigger blessing – I didn’t fall on any kids or their parents!
I crawled back into position and toned my movements down a little more, playing it safer for the rest of the night. And so this zombie lived to see another Halloween.
They should really add my experience as a cautionary tale to those Halloween safety videos:
“Kids, don’t dress up like a zombie, climb ladders, scale rooftops and muck around like a fool on wet tin. If you do, always wear a reflective strip on your costume and make sure mom and dad check your candy for anything suspicious afterwards.” 
Related Posts
A Favorite Halloween Memory
5 Quirky Home Haunt Experiences: Part 1
5 Quirky Home Haunt Experiences: Part 2
February 9th, 2010 at 1:07 am
You might add to that advice–leave a mattress on the ground below. Those are amazing stories. That really tall thing would have scared me a lot. Being a tall woman at 5’8″, I don’t generally run into a lot of things significantly taller than me, so horses and tall animals creep me out. If I stand next to someone 6’8″, I get really uncomfortable. So, I think that one would get me. I love the dude knocking sticks together. That would be really freaky. The religious guy–sounds too much like one of my fussy neighbors getting all freaky on Halloween. I had one Mormon a couple houses down that had a fit when I used chalk to draw pentagrams on my driveway. Oh brother! My favorite thing to do at the doorway is to make chalk outline of a trick or treater’s body, sprinkle blood on it and outline the basket and individual candies that fell out of it. Kids don’t even want to stand on that. I put crime scene tape around it. Looks like I offed one of the beggers Hee hee. That roof thing would have really wigged me out! I would have probably tied you down so you couldn’t go over. I’m not good with heights at all and that would have had me pacing. Jeez, you should write a book of your Halloween experiences and mix in how you built props. Totally cool!
February 9th, 2010 at 12:10 pm
Adding a mattress would definitely be a plus when it came to that whole rooftop predicament! The tall thing was such a cool costume, but it was too hard to really play the part when it came to the trick-or-treaters.
The “old man” character’s speech just sort of evolved into a lot of “hell” talk as the night went on. I was really trying to make him seem more demented than dogmatic. Of course, I’m the least religious person you’ll ever find, but I love getting into character on Halloween, no matter the character’s mission, whether he’s on a hunt for brains or tries to warn people about the apocalypse by spouting a lot of gibberish!
I can see why the kids stayed away from the chalk outline! That’s a very creative touch I’ve never even thought about doing.
Thanks, autumnforest, for your great message and the suggestion on writing a book. I’m glad you enjoy my writing.
February 9th, 2010 at 10:43 pm
YES! You absolutely take your Halloween responsibilities extremely serious and I wouldn’t expect anything less of you. Each and every time you share with us in great detail of your exhilarating Halloween scare nights, I wish to the stars above it could have been recorded. However, thankfully to your creative writing abilities and my active imagination, I can easily play out the entire array of scenes in my curious mind.
LoL, sweetie, now a days if you started ranting and raving about the end of times on Halloween night one of two things would happen:
1 – You would be sought out by religious groups in attempts to have you repent.
2- A group of youtubers would stand beside you and want to share information with you from what they have learned on line due to the whole 2012 thingy
My point being, that’s just what I mean about my imagination and my how times have changed.
My God you were enormous in that photo. As if your size alone isn’t tall enough, or maybe it is for someone of my stature, but to ADD additional elevation to you must have been a sight to see. Or not to see in your case 
LoL, you had me laughing so hard imagining this 8 foot monster running around to scare the children only to get 2 feet ahead of yourself and start to trip. Sounds like a video that should be on AFHV. I bet somewhere under your breath you were cursing hoping to regain your composure soon. BTW, your growling must have been something else John, which a voice as unique and deep as yours is, if I didn’t know you just the voice alone would scare the *beep* right out me!
You really have gone all out in previous Halloween haunt events at the Wolfe house though John. You have actually put yourself in harms way more than once all for the sake, and for the name of Halloween night. I certainly have never known anyone to go to such great lengths as you have my dear friend. Lucky for us SOS fans, you survived them all
Actually your survival of the tin roof is most impressive. Any guy who’s 6’2 is going to have some mass on him and you even more so due to your weight lifting routine so how your gutters ever managed to stay in once piece and not cave downwards is beyond me. It sounded like most of your body weight was on the drain. I bet your Mom was nervous about that set up. I think that would be the most hazardous haunts you’ve done, assuming we’re missing a few stories yet that is. However, WOW, the scare factor on that must have been an all star 10! Between not being sure about you on the roof and the fogged up sidewalk, I would for sure have stayed away…as tempted as I would be to go up to the front door.
Thank you for sharing these with us and we can only hope you have a few more up your sleeve John. Oh and I looked up September in your archive to see the photo and YIKES, TAOD is massive!!!! Was that the position you were hoping to put the arms in?? Are you also hoping to get the wings about that long as well? I see what you mean about not having enough room. To bad you couldn’t bring it in the house so you had more room to work from.
I’m sure the cats would just loooooove that!
February 10th, 2010 at 10:06 am
another great story! had a good chuckle re the part with you dangling over the edge! since everything turned out well and nobody was hurt, I don’t feel guilty about laughing! thanks–really enjoy these tales!
February 10th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Goldie,
I’m right there with you wishing I had all of my past haunts on video. I was even building home haunts back in the ’80s when I was in middle school and high school, so I’d really love to have had those on tape, but that was way before we ever had a video camera.
Yeah, all that apocalypse talk was me “channeling” the most bizarre, funkiest stuff I could think of in the moment. If that was done any other time than on Halloween night, the cops probably would have been called immediately! Of course, the majority of what I do/have done on Halloween night would cause the phone to ring off the hook at the police station if it wasn’t October 31st.
I’d definitely have to consider the 8′ tall costume to be one of my more challenging Halloween disguises. The appearance alone freaked the kids out, but I just wasn’t able to have the mobility I’m used to when I wore that thing. Back before I was displaying the groundbreakers’ cemetery, I used to love to move and run and really be animated in the characters I’d play. But with the oversized costume, that just wasn’t an option… well, it was if I wanted to spend Halloween night either on my face or my butt from falling all of the time!
What really saved me from coming off the roof was my left foot. By hanging it in a grooved spot on the tin, it prevented the majority of my weight from landing on the gutter. If I had actually put my entire body weight on the gutter, it absolutely would have torn loose, just like that scene with Chevy Chase — only there wouldn’t have been any shooting icicles busting up the neighbors’ stereo! While the oversized costume was my most challenging, I’d have to agree with you — zombie on a slick tin roof was one of the most dangerous for me.
I do have a few more home haunt experiences, going even further back, that I’ll share soon. Glad you found the archived Angel of Death post. Did you see the great job ScareFactory did in animating the prop? The position he’s in (including his arms and scythe) in the still photo was my overall design plan for his body. The arms and scythe are going to be a challenge in terms of keeping them in that position. I may have to drop the arms and scythe to his side. The whole thing is definitely being built to scale based on the room I have, but I’m hoping to have the wings be just as enormous, relatively speaking.
Speaking of the Angel, I should be doing my weekly vid update today, but this week has been so busy that I haven’t had much time to work on him. I’ll be working on him tonight and hopefully shooting the vid and posting it tomorrow.
Thanks again for your great comment. I really appreciate it!
Pam,
Thanks! Could you see the whole Chevy Chase, “Christmas Vacation” scenario playing out during my moment of hanging onto the gutter?