The Future of Season of Shadows
September 4th, 2011 by John WolfeWith summer pretty much wrapping up this weekend and fall almost in the air, I thought this would be a good time to discuss the future of the website. While the future of Season of Shadows has been weighing heavily on my mind, even back when I was first diagnosed with gastroparesis, I knew I needed some time to see what it would be like managing this health challenge before making any decisions. After dealing with this for almost five months now, I feel I’m in a better position to post this entry. But before writing about my decisions, I should probably give a little update on the status of my health, since it’s directly connected to what I’m going to do with SoS.
Through the use of medication, I’m now able to eat around 2,000 calories per day, and I can drink about 4 cups of water. For many people this would be enough to live a fairly normal life, but these numbers fall short of the mark for me due to the fact I’ve always had a super-fast metabolism.
Because of my high metabolism, I’m still losing weight, although at a much slower pace now thankfully. Also, the prolonged calorie deficit and minimal water intake has caused me to have very low energy, moments where I feel extremely faint, and it causes an occasional near black out-like experience where my eyes appear to be covered by a window screen pattern. I’m only capable of doing small tasks before becoming extremely fatigued, so the majority of my energy now goes to doing very light house work and taking care of my pets. And then, there’s still the symptoms of the gastroparesis itself to deal with, like nausea and the stomach problems.
I’ve definitely learned the meaning of taking life one day at a time now and often it’s about taking it one moment at a time, since I never know how I’m going to feel one minute to the next. It’s because of living moment to moment that I can no longer do things with any consistency or dependability and making future plans to accomplish something is pretty much out the window now, too.
Despite all of these challenges, I’m doing okay mentally and still fighting to live my life the best I can. But because of these challenges I regret I’m going to have to retire the Halloween Webcam and it seems I may even be retiring my haunt for good unless I happen to feel amazing on Halloween day.
My prop work is also on the fence right now, but I hope to still do some creative mache work when I feel up to it. As for the blog, I absolutely plan to continue blogging. Running the blog is one of the ways I can stay connected to all of you guys who I love so much and it’s a way for me to stay connected to Halloween, even though I may no longer be a “player” in the haunting of the holiday itself.
I continue hoping and praying things will change for me and I stay optimistic that my health will get better, but despite my issues I’ve also found a way to be okay with living my life the way it is now. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and about what truly matters in life because of these challenges.
September 4th, 2011 at 4:09 pm
{{hugs}} } for you!
September 4th, 2011 at 5:34 pm
Oh man. That’s a REAL bummer. It’s hard for me to even imagine giving up haunting. While I will miss seeing your haunt photos, and I’ll proudly continue to be a regular patron of Season of Shadows. I wish you best of luck with whatever crosses your path in the future, good or bad.
BTW, Will you still be handing out candy for the ToTs?
September 4th, 2011 at 9:00 pm
It’s truly amazing that you manage to stay positive and continue to do what you do. You are an inspiration!
September 4th, 2011 at 10:43 pm
So sad about the Halloween webcam and everything else that is having to take a backseat right now. But I understand your health is most important thing right now. I hope things get better for you soon.
I’m glad you’re sticking with blogging. I would hate to see such a cool site drop off the internet. I’ve seen a lot of them disappear over the years since I started blogging.
September 4th, 2011 at 10:56 pm
John ! I see good things in your future. Perhaps even better things, depending on how you look at it. Because of your passion and skill, you have planted seeds in newbies, and kept so many others going with your ideas. Why not do a help/tech support kind of thing using your skills? People could shoot you a video or send photos of their haunt or their prop and you could give your input, how to fix it or make it, film it, lighting, sound, electronics and stuff needed to set up their own haunt…AND, you could drive around and film people’s haunts and post them.
people could watch and comment or share their ideas, just as they do now with your videos, but you would be showing other folks stuff.
You’re so good at this stuff, and there would be a sense of accomplishment when others sent you pics or videos of THEIR finished product that YOU guided along. Let’s think about all the possibilites, and keep you doing what brings you joy…Halloween ! xoxoxo Donna
September 4th, 2011 at 11:16 pm
One more thing…I’m sure you’ve researched everything known already, but just wanted to let you know that I have a friend with the same thing. Her’s was caused by a botched minor surgical procedure where the doc knicked her vegus nerve and then never mentioned it. She suffered for years, just like you, until I was convinced she was dying and screamed at her husband to get her to the e.r. Long story short, she ended up with some kind of implant…kind of like a pacemaker or something, that makes her stomach work. I really don’t understand it, but what a remarkable recovery she finally made. xox
September 5th, 2011 at 12:21 am
Glad to hear that you’ll still be blogging. Your website has been great, but your health is obviously more important and it sounds like the ongoing gastroparesis symptoms have been taking more of your energy to the point where you just can’t do it all. Take a load off, friend, and get well soon!
September 5th, 2011 at 8:56 am
Wow John, I knew that you had your health haunting you, but I had no idea that it was that bad. I, as well as all of your friends here i’m sure, will continue to support you regardless, and I am sure that no matter what, you will continue to bring us Halloween to the best of your ability. Even if that is limited to blogging.
You worry about getting yourself healthy, and take good care of yourself. We’ll all be here regardless of how long it takes. And if there is anything I can do for you, please dont hesitate to ask. Just know that if it comes to it, I dont change diapers.
Get Well John, we’re all pullin’ for ya.
September 5th, 2011 at 12:53 pm
I pray that your health gets better so you can continue to do the things you love.
September 5th, 2011 at 2:27 pm
I’m so sorry to read that you may have to retire your haunt for good, John. If I still lived in ABQ I’d consider it a privilege to at least help you put all your stuff out and take it down again. Glad you will continue to run the blog. Maybe next year will bring better options.
September 6th, 2011 at 2:34 pm
I am sorry to hear you are still feeling so badly. By all means cut back where you must and find people to help you out where you can. I am sure you could round up contributors from among your followers if you need them. I hope you get better soon and will be thinking of you.
September 8th, 2011 at 9:34 pm
John, you know we’re all pulling for you. Home haunts are a lot of work. We never had one, but decorate the interior of our house to make up for it. Scale down and surround yourself with your favorite items inside, and take the time if your health allows to visit local attractions. Also take advantage of some great specials on TV and record them, like Travel Channel’s America Haunts series, Weird Travels, HGTV Halloween BLock Party, and America’s Scariest Halloween Attractions. All of the above require limited effort in comparison, and won’t task you near as much. Hopefully you’ll be able to work out a good balance that keeps from draining you while still enjoying the holiday to its fullest. And of course watching horror movies and reading. Take care.
September 9th, 2011 at 9:37 am
Hang in there brother. I’ve had a little taste of what you are going through.
September 9th, 2011 at 11:58 pm
What truly matters in your life now?
September 10th, 2011 at 4:47 pm
I’m very sorry to hear this John. I certainly hope you won’t retire for good. If you need help next year with your props, I’ll do my best to try.
September 13th, 2011 at 4:28 pm
John, my darling close friend, you already know my personal thoughts on much of this so I won’t say much here. 2011 has been a very different and challenging year for many of us and for our own reasons. I know that you already know how much support, deep love and understanding you receive from all of your loyal visitors and even the new ones who drop by. All we are concerned with right now is you taking care of YOU. Halloween will come again next year my friend. At this moment in time, all you need to be focusing on is your health, your eating, slowly and carefully putting weight back on and getting water back in your system again.
Will your webcam be missed? Absolutely it will!!! Ever since 2007, Halloween for me has been all about SeasonofShadows and allowing myself to sink into the many goodies on your website. Your archives are incredible my friend both here and on WindoftheSoul. There’s plenty to go through. All that matters right now is YOU and the return of your continued health. I’m fully aware of the mountain before you sweetie but always remember you have family here on SoS who is rooting for you and praying with all their might. Stay strong John and be patient with the healing process. I give you all my best, now and forever
September 14th, 2011 at 12:28 pm
hey, john,
sorry I haven’t responded earlier but I sure hope things get better for you. do what you can when you can and enjoy those things you’ve discovered truly matter in your life! look forward to your continued blogging (and maybe a prop creation every now and then?) take care–big hugs from pam!
September 18th, 2011 at 3:15 pm
To All,
I can’t thank all of you enough from the bottom of my heart! I truly appreciate your kindness and support and all the wonderful suggestions and ideas for ways to continue staying connected to Halloween. While I don’t plan on retiring fully from creating my haunt or doing prop work, I do need to put all of that on hold for this year. I continue believing and fighting and I know I will succeed and have my health back fully, it’s just going to take time. I’m always working on getting more food and liquids in my system and have been shown evidence this condition is reversible over time by keeping the digestive system working. So, please keep the prayers and well wishes going for me (They are so greatly appreciated!), as I take the actions necessary to overcome these challenges and heal my body.