In case you missed my first You Know You’re Obsessed with Halloween post, the following are some “warning” signs that you may have it bad for October 31st. Once again, only a few of these apply to me.
You know you’re obsessed with Halloween…
…When you keep your yard haunt setup through December, and then decide to transform it into a Christmas display by placing Santa hats on the corpses, skeletons, and monsters.
When you’d rather spend time building props than having sex.
When everyone else has a single pumpkin in their grocery cart–you have eight.
When you name any of your pets: Spooky, Midnight, Boo, Ichabod, Shadow, or Igor.
When you create a fake boarded up window effect for your haunt and then come to the conclusion it adds to your home’s curb appeal.
When you associate creating a Halloween haunt with the motto, “No pain, no gain.”
When you can’t walk past the Estee Lauder Counter without thinking of the products as Halloween makeup.
When you perform any maintenance on the exterior of your home, and the neighbors always assume it’s related to Halloween prep.
When your idea of dirty talk consists of discussing the pros and cons of fast walking zombies.
When your idea of pillow talk consists of discussing the pros and cons of slow walking zombies.
When you start visiting abandoned, dilapidated Victorian style homes for research purposes.
When you grow a mustache in the hopes of resembling Gomez Addams.
When you let your mustache grow wildly out of control in the hopes of resembling Cousin Itt.
When you know all the lines from every Roseanne and Home Improvement Halloween episode by heart.
When someone comments on how disturbing your Halloween creations are, hinting that there could be something wrong with you, you take it as an incredible compliment.
When you ask your spouse to observe a “no talking” rule while you watch Ghost Hunters, Destination Truth, and Ghost Adventures.
When your spouse promptly tells you to shove the Ghost Hunters, Destination Truth, and Ghost Adventures “no talking” rule up your ass.
When you’ve made it your mission to educate the world on the difference between “bucky” and “blucky” skeletons.
When you grow increasingly irate because Kellogg’s ignores your letters suggesting they create a pumpkin-flavored Pop-Tart.
When your idea of setting a romantic mood consists of firing up black lights and snapping glow sticks.
When you’ve seen Charlie Brown’s Halloween special hundreds of times; yet, each year, you still pull for Linus to prove to those smart-mouthed Peanuts’ kids that the Great Pumpkin does exist.
Hope you enjoyed my mostly tongue-in-cheek list. If you have any of your own “You know you’re obsessed with Halloween” things you’d like to add, I’d love to hear them.